The summer air smelt like an aroma of pine trees mixed with the smell of oak. You could feel the breeze up against your skin and hear the bark of dog in the distance. I can still hear the rocks crackle as a car pulls in the drive way of my old childhood home. It was a brown triple wide trailer nestled in the middle of the woods. I can see the half pipe to my right that my uncles had built when they were younger. My brother and I use to play with daddy long legs that would crawl all over it. No one had used it in while.

The play set was sitting to the side of the house, I can still hear the fate cries from my brother and I as we yelled to my mom because we were stung by wasp every time we played in it. She would make a baking soda paste and stick on the sting and send us back outside to play.  The dogs were always happy to see us, especially Cajun. He was tan and was bigger then me at the time. I can remember running my hands through his fur and just feeling his breath slow. He seem so calm whenever I was petting him.

Cajun was the type of dog who had his own rules, he took off in the mornings and would be home in the evenings. We didn’t have a gate around the house so unless the dogs were on a leash they could leave whenever they wanted.  One evening Cajun didn’t return home. My dad was worried. The next morning he called my aunts and uncles and they all came over to look for him. I can still hear my six year old self yell out Cajun. I can see my aunt looking in the woods while my uncle was looking behind the house. I was just aimless walking around not even sure where to look.

I heard a little voice say look under the house. The house was set up on bricks so you could walk under the house without having to kneel, well at least I didn’t have to because I was little at the time. So I headed under the house not sure what I was going to find. I made it to the stairs that led up to the side door, as I was walking under the house there was Cajun just laying there with flies swarming him.

I didn’t know what death was at the time, so I just ran up to my dad and said,”Dad why does Cajun have flies on him”? My dad didn’t respond and just asked me where I had seen him. I told him he was under the house. My dad ran to him not knowing what he was going to find. I can see my dad kneeling by his side with this look of sadness in his eyes. He called out to his brother Eric. Eric came running. I can hear my dad ask Eric to help him carry Cajun to the woods. My uncle refused at first, so my dad tried to carry him by himself but then my uncle helped as he seen my dad struggle.

They carried him to the woods and just threw him in there. We all said a few words for him as we stood there by the woods where his body laid. I can remember thinking I was really going to miss him. He was always such a happy dog and loved to play. He would of protected my brother and I no matter what. He was truly a best friend and you don’t get many of those in your lifetime.

To a Dog Named Cajun, your are missed. RIP

It all started off in a trailer park in Florida, not the usual ones where the trailers are so close together your neighbors could hear you arguing. They were pretty spaced out to where you didn’t feel on top of each other. My mom had moved into a 2 bedroom trailer which had a addition so it was basically 3 bedrooms and I of course got the bedroom in the addition. This all happen when I was nine years old and my parents were newly divorced. My mom really had nothing, she definitely didn’t gain anything from my dad. She only left with her cloths.

My cousins were living with us at the time, they were all older then me and there was four of them, they lived with us a lot. Which my brother and I didn’t mine because at this time it was summer and my mom was working a lot. So we were left with them. Before my mom headed off to work she said I don’t want you going outside when I’m not home. Of course my brother and I agreed but secretly we knew we weren’t going to listen. After we seen her leave done the dirt road, you could see the smoke of the dirt cover half of her car while she drove at some high speed like usually.

We started off our day by just watching T.V., which is by antenna at that time. So it never came in clear. My cousins were getting ready to go outside. I wasn’t planning on going because I’m scared of my mom, back in that day my mom was known as the crazy lady who threw her cat off the cliff by our house. I wasn’t sure if it was true or not either way my mom had a temper and I never wanted to be on her bad side. I said, “mom said we can’t go outside”. As I waited for a reply one of my cousins chimed in,” we will be back before she gets home so she won’t know anyways”.

As I thought about it, they were waiting on me to make up my mind. So I finally walked out the door with them not knowing what trouble I was getting myself into. We headed off to the notorious cliff, it was about a 70 foot drop probably more if I really think about it. All I know is if you were to fall you would definitely not make it. I don’t know why anyone would be allowed to have houses near it. At the time there was no gates to protect anyone from the drop.

We headed down the cliff, not sure what was going through my cousins mind at that time. I was scared of course but they reassured me I would be OK. My brother wasn’t scared at all and I was the oldest, I wasn’t going to be teased about being a baby so I went. We climbed down on to the rocks, no ropes not even the right kind of shoes. We made it to about the middle of the cliff where the cave was. I have to admit it was pretty cool. I could not see myself ever doing something like that again without the right kind of gear. But, at that age you think nothing bad will ever happen to you.

We started to climb back up the cliff, on to the grassy side that went up hill. As we were climbing back up I had lost my grip I could feel myself slipping. I had called out for my cousin Sarah, she had just happen to be right in front of me. She grabbed my hand so fast and didn’t let go until we were at the top. We were all dirty and tired. We ran to the house not knowing what time it was and how long we had been out there. Within twenty minutes you could see the dust from the dirt road and my mothers car speeding down it. I can only describe it as seeing Cruella de vil from 101 Dalmatians  driving in her car. I was relieved we had made it home before her.

I don’t think my mom ever found out we did that day. I was just grateful my cousin had grabbed me when she did because if it wasn’t for her I’m not sure what would of happen.

No one tells you how hard breastfeeding is, or how much work your going to have to put in it to be successful. Also how you have a baby whose constantly attached and they’res  really no reason to wear a shirt anymore. Your days are consumed of a baby constantly pulling at your shirt and crying until your boob is in their mouth.

No one tells you to check for a tongue tie to see if its causing issues with the latch. You would think they would check in the hospital, but no they think that’s just a fad. When actuality its not.  As, I’m writing this my five month old is kicking me, and blowing bubbles. Do I ever get time to myself anymore? No probably not. Probably why I waited eleven years to have another one. How about that C-section belly no one tells you about, or as I like to call it the dreaded muffin top.

Lucky for me my daughter sleeps through the night, but on the downside of that she doesn’t like to take naps unless I’m laying next to her the whole time. Which is impossible when I have a million other things to do. It would be nice to be able to take a nap with her but because shes constantly attached to the boob I don’t really get anything done around the house.

I never breastfed with my first, just pumped for the first three months and then he was on formula, it was pretty easy. That was my boy. This is my first girl and she can use her lungs when she wants to be held.  She use to be the quietest baby when she was in NICU. She would always have another baby in the room with her and the other baby would scream their head off all day but not my little Alana, she would be so quiet and even when she was sleeping they would never wake her up. Now that’s shes been home she has made her personality known. I love her for it, just wasn’t prepared for it.

Girl are fun, you have so many options. If you go into any store, they have aisles and aisles of girls cloths. But, for boys they have one little section and because they don’t have a big selection you can never find the right sizes you need.  My daughter is only five months old and I believe when it comes to cloths she already has more then her brother. It definitely has been a roller coaster ride starting all over again with my daughter. Things are a little different now then when my son was born. It helps a lot to have an older child to help out and then when hes older I’ll have a babysitter.

Tell me in the comments what you didn’t know and wish someone had told you before you had kids in the comments.

 

 

 

 

How can you not love that face? They are so precious at this age. They don’t talk back and they just love being next to you. They are completely depended on you for everything. This is my little angel alana christine. She is by my side all day and all night. She’s not going to be this needy forever and I just want to treasure these moments that I have.

I started this blog because I’m very passionate about my lifestyle changes. I started this journey in November 2016. Let me start off  by saying I was newly married and had gained a few pounds. I had been over weight most of my life. I never really started dieting long periods of time because I would never see results and it was just hard.  I had no self control and no drive. I had just started working at a new store I just transferred to and it was hectic. I was working at McDonald’s as a department manager and I wasn’t prepared for the amount of stress I was under at this particular store. I started to notice my mid section getting bigger and my period was late so I figured I must be pregnant but tragically that never lasted long for me. I miscarried 3 different children that year. I was depressed and my hormones were all out of whack, I knew something was wrong. So I went to get my blood work done and I had an elevated TSH which if you know about thyroid dysfunction most doctors won’t do anything until your above a 3 and mine just happened to be 2.8. At this time I knew I had to do something, but what? So every where I looked I kept seeing the elimination diet or Paleo diet. I had no idea about either but I thought I should try it out. So then began my journey I had to get rid of the junk out of my diet. I started off with doing a bone broth fast for 2 days, that was hard! I don’t recommend this but at that time it helped me. Let me be clear about what I had to eliminate from my diet, no gluten, no sugar, no grains, no legumes, no dairy and no processed food. I started off simply eggs and spinach for breakfast and chicken and broccoli for lunch and dinner, yes this got old fast, however, the pounds began to melt away.  I finally was able to remember things and I didn’t feel tired all the time. So 6 months goes by, I’m starting to feel better but not really where I need to be at.  I keep seeing the autoimmune protocol pop up whenever I would search anything to do with Paleo in it so, I looked into it. I would have to eliminate night shades which is tomatoes, egg plant, and any and all types of peppers. Also I would have to eliminate nuts , which that was really hard because I love pecans and cashews. If that wasn’t enough I  would also have to eliminate certain spices as well, and eggs. This really sounded like starvation to me. So once again starting from scratch, I couldn’t have eggs anymore for breakfast like I was used too.  I started to eat beet noodles in the morning with some ground turkey instead. I started to feel a lot better too. At this time I switched stores again because I just couldn’t handle the stress I was under at the other store. Amazingly,  my stress level had gone done a lot. At this time I had lost about 40 pounds and I was feeling good. Then I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton